We'd usually be embarrassed as heck to think of a wedding combo treating a reception hall full of Swedish meatball-stuffed revelers to a zesty version of "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag" -- unless, of course, the band's leader was actually James Brown himself. The hardest-working right-wing reformed felon in show business put in an appearance at a wedding in Washington, D.C. last week -- although we're not sure if he took the gig to put a dent in that tax bill or to pay tribute to kindred spirit Strom Thurmond, whose daughter was the blushing bride. The ninety-something Thurmond, who represents J.B.'s home state of South Carolina, was celebrating the marriage of twenty-six-year-old offspring Julie -- who, fortunately, is a few years too old to be of romantic interest to Brown himself . . .
After months of hearing all-talk, no-action types like Fred Durst and Scott Stapp promise to back up bitchy insults with bitch-slaps, we're pleased as punch to hear that a passel of punk rockers got into the ring -- or, to be precise, the john -- for a battle royale earlier this week. Just hours after trading onstage insults at a radio station dog-and-pony show in Tennessee, fifth-generation pogo-proferrers SR-71 and Sum 41 decided to settle their differences the old-fashioned way back at the hotel. After trading more jibes -- mostly about sexual preferences and Buzzcocks' bootlegs, we're sure -- the bands allegedly engaged in a brawl in a lobby restroom, with no clear winner emerging . . .
Moby doesn't want to be seen as a dick-head -- and he's going to court to sue a former friend who's trying to portray him as one. Before his rise to just above the middle rung of pop's success ladder, the Mobe-ster agreed to appear in a film, appropriately entitled Porno in which he played guitar with a pair of outsized plastic phalluses strapped to his cranium. We're not sure if Moby is objecting to his own choice of costume, or to the use of the song (which was voiced by adult-film vixen Dyanna Lauren), but he's trying to make sure that Porno never sees the light of day . . .
Football, Iron City Beer and . . . flouncing transvestites? These are, it seems, a few of Pittsburgh's favorite things. The Steel City's council has passed a resolution declaring Oct. 1 to be Boy George Tribute Day -- the kind of honor the burg normally reserves for nominally more butch gridiron heroes. Be that as it may, Councilman Jim Ferlo proposed the tribute be bestowed upon George for the anti-drug efforts he's devoted himself to in recent years -- but stopped short of asking that "Karma Chameleon" replace the National Anthem at Three Rivers stadium . . .
DAVID SPRAGUE
(September 23, 2000)